


The Amorous Misadventures of Aaron Burr

by flibbertygigget



Series: The Other 51 [12]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron Burr: Sex God, Because of the Genie you see, Crack, Genie - Freeform, Mildly Dubious Consent, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 13:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6522676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flibbertygigget/pseuds/flibbertygigget
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For his first wish, Burr asked for his debts to disappear. For his second wish, he asked to be better than Hamilton at something, anything.</p>
<p>Burr really should have been more specific.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Amorous Misadventures of Aaron Burr

When Aaron Burr found a lamp that contained a genie, he knew exactly what to do with it. First, he wished for all his debts to magically disappear. That happened easily. Second, he wished to be better than Hamilton at something, anything.

Burr really should have been more specific.

As Burr walked down the street, he heard the people around him whispering. At first he paid them no heed, assuming that it had nothing to do with him. But, no, the whispers followed him, until they became loud shouts.

"Oh my God, there he is!"

"Aaron Burr!"

"He's literally the sexiest man on the planet!"

"Let me at him!"

So, that was how Burr found himself running to his office. He slammed the door behind him, panting for breath, but then he suddenly found himself pinned up against the wood of the door.

"Hey, Burr." It was Hamilton, using his deepest, most seductive voice, licking a strip up Burr's neck. 

"What the hell, Hamilton?" Burr said, trying to stay calm.

"Damn, Burr, I thought you were hot before, but today you're  _really_ hot." Burr pushed Hamilton off of him and ran out the door. Maybe if he could run fast enough he would be able to outrun the people who had somehow collectively decided that he was the sexiest man alive.

As Burr ducked into an alley beside a bar, three familiar men stumbled out, drunk.

"Hey, hey, hey," said Laurens, Mulligan, and Lafayette. Burr stopped short and turned around, ignoring the despairing cries he left behind him. He had to find a place to hide, somewhere where these desperately horny people wouldn't be able to find him.

So he went to the least sexy place he could think of: Washington's house.

When he got inside, the maid led him up to a room, practically throwing herself on him all the while. Inside the room were Washington, Jefferson, and Madison, apparently having a meeting of some kind. The moment that Burr entered the room, all of their eyes turned to him.

"Burr," said Washington, and for a moment Burr dared to hope that the president would be immune to whatever insanity had overtaken New York City. "Have a seat, son." Okay, so the "son" part was weird, but it wasn't any weirder than the kind of things Washington said to Hamilton. Burr sat, and then he found two large hands on his shoulders. Washington began to massage him, and Burr felt extremely uncomfortable. Jefferson crossed his legs.

"Well, Burr, you're looking... fine," Jefferson said. Madison licked his lips, and Burr realized that he had to get out of here before Washington, Jefferson, and Madison jumped him. 

"Excuse me, I have to go... relieve myself," Burr said, standing.

"Come back quickly," Madison said. Burr nodded and fled the room, going back out on the street. He couldn't understand why everyone was being so weird.

He wandered New York City, hoping beyond hope that whatever had caused everyone to suddenly find him sexy would wear off, but he had no such luck. The one bit of luck he did have, however, was in bumping into the Schuyler sisters.

"Hmm, Burr, you're looking good today," Angelica said.

"Very good," Eliza said.

"Very," said Peggy. Burr smiled. Maybe this curse wasn't so bad after all...

"Want to go read Common Sense by Thomas Paine?" Angelica said seductively. Or maybe the curse still sucked. Burr stammered out his excuses and ran back to his house. As soon as he got there, he got out the lamp and rubbed it as hard as he could.

"What the fuck did you do?" he yelled at the genie.

"Only what you requested," said the genie in an infuriatingly calm voice. "You did want to be better than Hamilton at something."

"Well, I take it back!" Burr said.

"Is that your third and final wish?"

"Yes! Anything to make this go away!" The genie nodded, cast the spell, and then he vanished.

Burr collapsed, exhausted. He had always been reliable with the ladies, but not like this. Well, at least he wasn't in debt anymore. 


End file.
